My Regret

Form 3 

In History class, I stared at boy next to me. He was my best friend. I stared at his hair, fair skin and baby face, and wished he was mine. He did not notice me like that.  After class, he asked me for notes that he missed the day before and I handed it to him. He gives me a smile .I wanted to tell him, I do not want to be just friends, I love him and too shy and do not know why…Hmmmm  

Form 4

My phone rang and it was him. He was mumbling about his broken heart. He asked me to go for movies and I did not want him to be alone, so I agreed. Sat next to him, I stared at her baby face and wishing he was mine. After three hours watching the movie, he decided to walk home. He looks at me and says thanks and smile. I want to tell him, I want him to know that I do not want to be just friends, I love him but I just too shy, and I do not know why.   

Form 5

A day before dinner organizes by school, he come to me and says that his partner is sick and I decided to go with him since I do not have any partner. After everything was over, I was standing in front him .We keep looking at each other. He was handsome that night and I was mesmerized. Then he says thanks and he had the best time .At that time , I want to tell him that I want him and I want him to know that I do not want to be just friend ,I love him but I am to shy ,and I do not know why.

SPM Result

After day by day, week by week then a month where our SPM result released. I watched him very happy and keep smiling. Before I went home, he came to me and says that I am his best friends and give me teddy bear as my birthday present. I want to tell him, I want him to know that I do not want to be just friends, I love him but I am too shy, and I do not know why.

Two Years Later 

I am in wedding ceremony and that boy is getting married now. He married to other girl. After outdoor photo shot, he came to me and very glad that I came. I want to tell him, I want him to know that I do not want to be just friends, I love him but I am too shy, and I do not know why.

Funeral

After two years, I looked down at the coffin of a boy who uses to be my "best friend". His wife gives me his secondary school diary. In that diary it says that: I stared at her wishing she was mine and she do not notice it, and I know it. I want to tell her, I want her to know that I do not want to be just friends, I love her but I am too shy, and I do not know why. I Wish she will tell me that she love me too.

I wish I did….I keeps thinking about it and I cried.

                      Will you regret it, if you are in my shoes?